I’ve been thinking about how I approach video games, and it’s led me to realize something important about technology in general. Let me start with the games, because that’s where this insight really crystallized for me.

At 55, my relationship with gaming has evolved significantly. A while ago I started gravitating toward turn-based games and others that gave me time to think rather than demanding instant reactions. The real turning point came with my favorite game of all time, however: Slay the Spire. After playing it the traditional way many times and loving it, I discovered the custom modifiers. I found a combination that wasn’t so easy I couldn’t fail, but was significantly easier than the standard experience. It gave me different challenges (like seeing how high I could push my score) and opened up new ways to play that I absolutely loved.

This approach has become my standard now. I usually start games at their default difficulty to understand the mechanics and see what engages me. If the defaults feel like too much pressure, I look at what I can adjust. The goal is finding that sweet spot where there’s just enough challenge to keep things interesting, but not so much that I feel stressed or discouraged.

When I hit that perfect balance, something magical happens: games become mainstays. Instead of playing something for a few hours and moving on, I’ll return to these carefully calibrated experiences for years. The difference between challenge and stress turns out to be crucial. Challenge is fun, but stress isn’t.

Now, I know this approach runs counter to a lot of gaming culture. Online discourse often treats difficulty as a status marker, with harder settings somehow being more “legitimate.” There’s this sense that there’s one right way to play a game, and anything else is lesser. But we’re putting our money and time into these experiences. Of course there’s no single right way to enjoy them.

As I’ve been reflecting on this aspect of gaming, I’ve come to realize that it’s just one example of a much bigger principle that applies throughout our digital lives.

I see this pattern everywhere in my work with technology. People constantly just accept defaults and think “this is it, take it or leave it.” They don’t realize how many opportunities exist to tweak their environment, whether it’s games, operating systems, software applications, or digital tools.

Take something as basic as your operating system preferences. There are so many options buried in your Windows settings or macOS preferences that could make your daily experience so much better. Mouse and trackpad behaviors, scrolling preferences, screen settings. Everyone’s going to have different needs and preferences, but so many people never explore what’s possible.

I see this pattern especially clearly with large language models. Someone will have an interaction where they enter a prompt, the LLM responds, and that’s it. End of conversation. But the real power of these tools comes through dialogue. If something isn’t quite right, you can ask for clarification, request a different approach, or provide additional context. You can guide the conversation to become more useful and better suited to what you actually need. I wish more people would engage this way.

The common thread here is that we often accept whatever default configuration we’re handed, when we could be customizing our tools to actually serve us.

Part of what holds people back, I think, is the assumption that the default is the right way to do things. People can be absolutely convinced they know the correct approach, when in reality what works for them might not work for you at all. You see this attitude everywhere. From the gamer who insists that only the hardest difficulty settings are “legitimate,” to the colleague who swears everyone should use the same LLM prompting style, to the tech enthusiast who can’t understand why anyone would want different interface behaviors.

Taking the time to explore your options and customize your digital environment isn’t about being lazy or doing things “wrong” — it’s about being intentional. It’s about making technology work for your life, your circumstances, and your preferences.

In my case, I have plenty of pressure in my professional life and as a homeowner dealing with all the responsibilities that come with adult life. I don’t need additional stress from my entertainment or productivity tools. At this stage, I want technology that supports me rather than fighting against me.

The key is letting go of the idea that there’s one right way to use any piece of technology. Instead, we can embrace the power of customization to create experiences that actually fit who we are and what we need. Whether that’s adjusting game difficulty, tweaking your operating system, or having actual conversations with language models instead of just accepting their first response, it all comes down to the same principle.

Your technology should serve you, not the other way around. And that’s not something to apologize for. It’s something to celebrate. Once you start looking for customization opportunities, you’ll be amazed at how many small adjustments can transform your daily digital experience from something you endure to something that actually works for you.